i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!