dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...