Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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