I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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