Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She said her name was "party"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
