i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize