I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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