I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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