Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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