imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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