it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
