I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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