so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
