How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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