The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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