Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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