im holly from the hills drunk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i now understand why vodka
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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