Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
