I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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