i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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