it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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