Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
