you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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