How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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