I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
