I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
