What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
