hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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