i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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