Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
