Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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