I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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