I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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