Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
