Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
