sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
