I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
