Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
