DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
