idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
