God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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