I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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