1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
only if we run a train.
done.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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