4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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