The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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