So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
