y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
