During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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