conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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