In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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