I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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