i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I need to align my fucking chakras
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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