watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
