I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize