New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Boobs are out for the taking
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
