I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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