im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
