I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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