Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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