"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
