East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
