ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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