i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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